The Youth Advisory Committee, a division of the South Bay Youth Project, is a dynamic group of high school students who strive to promote healthy, alcohol and drug-free lifestyles to their peers. At least, that is what we are in technical terms. In real life, we are the unique youth-led group that promotes healthy lifestyles for youth and young adults through a variety of programs. For example, Late Night Sports, a life-skills based basketball program hosted every Saturday night (see www.myspace.com/latenightsports). We also host South Bay middle-school dance eight times a year to provide a safe alternative activity for young students. We help clean up the beach, lead sessions during youth conferences, and have Leadership Trips to refresh and rejuvenate the way we think of leadership and of ourselves. And yet after all of that, we are still regular high school students who just know what it is like to be a contemporary teenager.

We have written this article (our second, in fact!) in an effort to help you, the parents, see a side of the story that your child might not always reveal to you. It is you that most often has the greatest effect on your child and the way they treat their bodies and their health as they grow up. With that in mind, we now delve into our own opinions to show you what the typical teenager wants and needs from the parent-child relationship, whether or not they say it out loud.

Try to find a medium level of comfort with your child, somewhere in between the teacher and the best friend. In all honesty, it is impossible for either one to work all of the time.

Try not to confront your child in front of their peers. Especially today, public humiliation often means “the end of the world”. Using it as a tool won’t make them remember the lesson, just the time you embarrassed them. Simply put, this could lead to plain bitterness.

Keep in mind that your child’s problems are important to them, no matter how silly or juvenile they seem to you as an adult. Relationship problems or clothing dilemmas might appear to be a waste of time in your 30+ years of experience, but your child is just that – a child. Making their problems your problems will end up allowing them to feel comfortable with talking to you about anything.

Remember that it’s not war or a competition – an argument really isn’t about winning or losing. If you know that your child is speaking reasonably, don’t be stubborn. Your child will still respect you if you admit a mistake you have made – we should know before long that you are not perfect.

Try not to raise your voice, as all it does is escalate the tension. Staying calm and talking rationally is much more productive than an emotional breakdown. If you are a regular screamer, your child could just tune you out – in all likelihood, it’s something they know how to do really well. If you become a regular time bomb, it will be hard for them to take you seriously.

Attempt to understand your child’s side of the story. Cutting them short when they’re trying to explain their feelings is a lack of respect, as it would be if they did it to you. Don’t assume that you understand everything they are saying before they actually finish.

Be wary of the severity of your threats. Teenagers are fully capable of spiteful actions if they know you won’t expect them to follow through.

Act your age! Your child may not say they need it, but parents are essential for guidance and support, so be the kind of person you want them to be. Teenagers are smart enough to know what “hypocrite” means. Stories about your high school bell-bottom sizes are funny, but serving alcohol at your child’s party is not. You cannot possibly demand respect from your children or even your peers if you are enabling their bad behavior, even if out of feigned ignorance.

Recognize your child’s strengths and abilities, as well as their weaknesses and faults. If you are not accepting of what they are or are not capable of, you cannot possibly expect them to be comfortable with themselves either. Their best is all they can do, and it is different for every child.

Make yourself available and easy to talk to. Always be willing to talk, because open communication between parent and child is one of the best ways to prevent estrangement and shameful secrets.

If you are unsure of when or where to talk to your child, we’ve suggested some simple ways! Parent-child relationships should be supportive and sometimes serious, but it is always possible to have fun.

Take them out to dinner. Take a local road-trip through the city… or to the local ice-cream parlor. If you have not tried before, try listening to their radio station of choice…you never know what you might actually enjoy.

Watch one of their favorite TV shows with them! You will most likely have some outrageous drama to discuss afterwards…

Plan a family dinner and cook it with them, or get a new dessert recipe and bake it!

Go out together before school and start their day with them at a local coffee house.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. To order our booklet: A Parent’s Guide To The Prevention Of Alcohol And Other Drugs, please visit our website or contact: events@sbcoalition.com.

By Rod Uyeda, Chief Of Police, Manhattan Beach, CA

As we start another year, we all have another opportunity to begin anew all of our efforts to combat the use of alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs by our young people. By all of us, I especially mean parents, teachers, adults and the young people themselves. So many of our young people are faced with difficult decisions, and the bad ones are often times accompanied by peer pressure by those who have already taken major steps to permanently and negatively affect their future through alcohol and other drug abuse.

Why do young people intentionally choose to abuse substances that they know are illegal at their age and know are bad for their health? Probably because adults, as well as the media and film industry, make it appear so much fun to do. I’m not being critical of adults for their use of tobacco and alcohol, though I do harshly criticize adults who indulge in illegal drugs. But, for any adult who believes that their child is not using these substances, you need to be aware that statistically, over half of all teenagers use one of these substances…many to excess! The bottom line is that pressure from their peers and their own faulty decision making leads them down this dangerous path and many young people who do not successfully leave this path suffer tragic consequences. For young people, take these statistics to heart! Alcohol and other drugs destroy lives! Don’t add to the long, long list of those who learned the hard way!

For parents…if a school offers voluntary drug testing programs and your child is not a part of that program, that is a huge red flag! If a coach encourages his or her athletes not to participate in drug testing programs, that is another huge red flag. If your children avoid you when they come home late at night, that is a huge red flag! The police and the schools can only do so much when it comes to helping your children avoid alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. The major responsibility falls on you…parents and coaches. Drug testing holds people accountable. If you suspect, ask your child about testing. If they refuse, there is probably use taking place. The consequences are to wait until something tragic happens, by which time, it may be too late to make a difference.
Did you know that out of every 100 people that apply to become police officers only 1% are hired? Alcohol and other drugs are a major factor in disqualifying applicants that didn’t realize the consequences of illegal drug use and underage drinking. It comes down to a matter of courage, judgment, and character. It takes tremendous courage to “say no” to peer pressure. And it shows strength in judgment and character to stay away from things that you know are bad for you.

It is a team effort to help our young people stay away from alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Let’s all do our part to help ensure their long life and success!

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. To order our booklet: A Parent’s Guide To The Prevention Of Alcohol And Other Drugs, please visit our website or contact: events@sbcoalition.com.

New Teen Drivers

Getting a driver’s license is a milestone in a teen’s life. Each year, some 9,000 16-and 17-year-olds get behind the wheel nationwide with their driver’s licenses. Young drivers are already at risk for car crashes, due to the combination of driving inexperience and distractions, such as having additional passengers in the car, eating, or talking on cell phones. In fact, collisions are the leading cause of death for young people aged 15-20. These accident risks are greater when the driver is using illicit drugs, such as marijuana, as well.

Here are some guidelines parents can follow to help their teen avoid drugged, drunk, and distracted driving:

Know What’s In The Car: One of the most common places high school seniors report smoking marijuana is in their cars. There are numerous products on the market that disguise drugs and drug paraphernalia as everyday items, such as soda cans and CD cases, which teens can easily carry in cars without attracting attention. Parents should become familiar with these items – and other hiding places for drugs – and conduct occasional car checks.

Map Out A Plan: Set limits on driving, especially in high-risk conditions such as at night or on the highway, in poor weather conditions and with other teens in the car. Limit your teen from riding with other new drivers, and make sure he or she never gets in a car with anyone who has been drinking or using other drugs.

Take Caution: Know where your teen is and who he or she is with. Get to know your teen’s friends and their friends’ parents. Be sure you know the route they intend to drive when they go out.

Establish Pit Stops: Develop a check-in time with your teen – a time when your child calls in and gives a “status report” of where he or she is and who he or she is with.

Go For A Spin: Reinforce safe driving skills with your teen even after he or she has a license by going for drives together. This can also be a good time to catch up and have an open conversation about important issues like alcohol or other drugs.

Did You Know?

.        Approximately one in six high school seniors in the U.S. report driving under the influence of marijuana.

.        Nearly one in five 16-year-old drivers is involved in a collision in their first year of driving.

To keep teen drivers safe on the road, many states are imposing rules regarding the number of passengers teen drivers can have in the car, cell phone usage and the number of hours new drivers can be on the road. Be sure to check with your state’s Department of Transportation web site for specific details.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth.To order our booklet: A Parent’s Guide To The Prevention Of Alcohol And Other Drugs, please visit our website or contact: events@sbcoalition.com.

Teens are sexually mature enough to make pregnancy possible. Acne is common – more often in boys. Hormones level off around age 15 for girls and 16 or 17 for boys. Girls usually reach adult size by age 16. Many teens are learning how to relate to the opposite sex and are exploring romantic relationships. Teens may change relationships often as they try on different identities. Hormones may also affect your teen’s emotional health. Some boys may experience anger, aggression and/or other powerful emotional outbursts. Others may withdraw emotionally from the family due to expectations about masculinity. Many girls have sudden, dramatic mood swings or struggle with self-esteem or body image.

What You Can Do

Parents should communicate their values about sex with their teen. Talk about the risks of sexual behavior and discuss healthy dating relationships, including respect and responsibility. Parents can also help smooth the emotional bumps through balance. Let your teens know you’re there if they need you, but don’t be intrusive. Give them the psychological space they need. If you demonstrate your continued interest in communicating, your teens will talk when they are ready.

Pushing the Envelope

Middle adolescence is often the most challenging time for parents. Hormones can fuel extreme emotions as teens start to separate from their parents. Teens begin to develop their identities, ideals and morals. They may disagree more about everyday issues and challenge limits. As they begin to “try on” different identities, they are more likely to take risks, such as using tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.

What You Can Do

Teens want independence and the freedom to make choices. Parents can help by trying to subtly guide their decision-making, rather than controlling it. Don’t shy away from saying what you think is best. Teens want to know where you stand. Avoid power struggles and revisit some limits as your teen matures.

The Bandwagon

Peers are a big influence, and peer groups often include members of the opposite sex. Teens are spending more time away from home. There is more social pressure to rebel against parental rules and limits. Bullying is common and often directed at teens that have low self-esteem, lack social skills or are socially isolated. Verbal bullying among girls is increasingly widespread and may include gossiping, name-calling and spreading of rumors.

What You Can Do

Parents can tap into teens’ values on individuality by encouraging them to think for themselves and make independent decisions. If your teen suffers from low self-esteem or is the victim of bullying, help them build confidence by tapping into their interests and natural abilities and by providing opportunities to build social and coping skills. Watch for signs of mental health or school performance problems and seek help if needed.

“I’m Thinking About It”

Changes in the brain mean teens’ appetite for excitement is at a high point, leading to more risk-taking. Their ability to use good judgment and decision making is still limited. Complex thinking skills often emerge unevenly in teens, leading to patterns of thinking that frustrate many parents. Teens may be self-absorbed and think their peers and others are also constantly thinking about and looking at them. There is also a sense of personal immunity (“it can’t happen to me”), and all-or-nothing thinking (“everybody hates me!”).

What You Can Do

Because judgment is still immature, many teens might not think before they act. Parent should continue to provide structure and clear expectations. As a parent, you can help by not being dismissive of your teen, listening and helping him/her draw realistic conclusions about his/her concerns.

Navigating parenthood in the 21st century is more complex and complicated than ever before. We are grateful to The Beach Reporter for providing this opportunity to offer parents information, tips, and resources to help make their relationships with their teens more positive and productive.

The South Bay Coalition is dedicated to substance abuse prevention among the youth in our local cities. In order to ensure our programs, materials, and activities continue to be relevant to both teens and parents, we have developed a survey where parents can give us feedback on their beliefs and concerns about their children and community. We invite you to visit our website at: www.sbcoalition.com and take the survey. It’s all electronic and will only take about 10 minutes of your time. Thank you.

From Real High School Students To Lost Parents

The teenage mind can be one of the most beautiful things in the world. It can also be baffling to anyone who is not a peer, let alone twenty or thirty years older. We are talking about you, the parents. You raised us, taught us the rules of society and the way the world works…but so often the connection is lost as we get older. That is why we are writing this letter: we are the Youth Advisory Committee, a group of high school students around the South Bay who have banded together to promote alcohol and other drug-free lifestyles among our fellow youth. We are here neither to preach about parenting nor to provide solutions to your parent-child problems, but to give you a glimpse of the high school student’s mind as we ourselves experience it. Please remember that we are not relationship experts – we are just real teenagers who know the reality of high school.

First of all, high school is stressful. It does not matter whether our classes are more rigorous or not, because stress comes from teachers, relationships, extra-curricular activities, sleep-deprivation, and balancing everything in our lives the right way. We are adapting to an identity, finding ourselves, and moving away from childhood. Most parents have forgotten what it was like to be a teenager, and it does not help that most of us think that being a teenager in today’s world is a lot harsher than it was twenty or thirty years ago. Parents sometimes think that placing a lot of pressure on their students to go to the top college in the country will be helpful, but you have to understand that many teenagers become rebellious. For many students, this becomes a direct path toward alcohol and other drugs, which are extremely accessible in most high schools – more so than you might think. We tend to respond to a fair balance of guidance and disciplined freedom a lot better. Tell us your truth, your opinions, what you know to be right and wrong, but please trust us and openly care for us and our futures. We may not always say it, but for the most part we actually appreciate it if you have confidence in our abilities to be good people, or let us know that you are available to talk to about anything. If anything, do not belittle us. A lot of teenagers who feel they cannot find strength, foundation, or confidence in their home will turn to empowerment from harmful substances. In our times of insecurity, we need someone to talk to who we know will at least attempt to understand and not immediately turn to anger or disappointment. Otherwise, you could become another source of stress we will simply deny and avoid. Teenagers are talented in shutting things out – the key is to become a good example, be a part of our lives, be an honest helpful source of leadership, and provide a place to turn to over so many of the world’s distracting and often dangerous influences.

You may not know, however, if your child has already become a drug-user or alcoholic. There are definite signs parents seem to miss. In all probability, your child will attend a party and “experiment” at least once, but there is an extreme difference between one-time use and addiction. You should be very curious if you notice that: your kid is constantly tired (and it is not caused by schoolwork); you are missing large sums of money, or your kid is spending a lot on mysterious items. Also note if your teenage child is repeatedly missing school: you should be wondering where they are going. Missing school excessively can also be a sign of rebellion or a call for attention. Know who your child is spending time with, but do not judge immediately: there is no better place than high school to say that looks are deceiving. Above all, do not be in denial and do not ignore red flag warnings. Be firm about your policy on alcohol or other drugs, but remember that forward care and support are extremely important. We are young, but we are smart. If you are doing little to stop self-destructive behavior, we will wonder why. Do not stop trying to communicate with your child, because we appreciate the concern and attention even if it does not seem that way.

Nothing influences a teenager quite like the parent, so please be one; you are not helping if you are watching passively every day as we grow into an adult human being.

Sincerely,

The Youth Advisory Committee

The above information is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. The Youth Advisory Committee sponsors and runs middle school dances throughout the school year, runs the Late Night Sports program, participates in the Coalition’s Youth Summit Day for middle school students, and offers a speakers panel for area workshops and other events. Three YAC members serve as voting members on the Coalition’s Board of Directors.

The first sign of adolescence is the start of puberty, triggered by the release of hormones leading to sexual development. Compared to 25 years ago, puberty starts younger today, and on average begins two years earlier in girls than in boys. Puberty generally takes 2-4 years to complete.

What You Can Do

The dramatic physical changes make many teens highly self-conscious and preoccupied with body image and appearance. Some go through a period of awkwardness. Parents can help their teens adapt to these natural changes in several ways. Parents should respect their teen’s growing need for privacy and not expect them to share all their thoughts and feelings. Let your teen know that he/she is normal, and try to talk openly about the changes he/she is experiencing. Monitor and talk to your teens about what they see in popular culture so they establish reasonable expectations and a reasonable evaluation of themselves.

The Mind Playing Tricks!

Other changes are also occurring in the brain. Just prior to puberty, the thinking part of the brain responsible for reasoning, problem-solving, and impulse control grows dramatically. This area is refined throughout adolescence, affecting how the brain manages emotions, impulses and decision-making.

What You Can Do

The ability of teens to “put on the brakes” on risk-taking and think through decisions is not fully developed. Young teens are also more likely to misread emotional signals, such as mistaking your concern for anger or criticism, which can lead to communication problems. You can help by being patient, listening, avoiding generalizations, staying calm, and clearly spelling out your feelings. Don’t leave any “gray areas” or room for misinterpretation when it comes to expectations. Be direct and specific to avoid any confusion. Sit down with your teen to set clear rules and consequences for violating them.

Trying On New Hats

Emotionally, teens are starting to separate from their parents and many don’t want to be seen with them. Peers are becoming more important, helping teens test new ideas and roles. Close peer relationships are common. Some teens spend hours on the phone and dress just like their friends. Many teens are focused on fitting in and are more likely to take unhealthy risks in order to be accepted by peers. Images from entertainment and advertising media may also play a powerful role in shaping teens’ appearance and behavior. It’s not uncommon for bullying and teasing to intensify, making school and other social activities painful for some teens.

What You Can Do

Teens still say that parents are the biggest influence in their lives. However, peers are growing in importance and your teen is still learning to control impulses. So you need to provide firm guidance on risky behaviors, such as alcohol and other drug use, violence, and sex. Prepare your teen so he/she can resist pressures of drug use or other risk-taking. Respect the importance of friends, but try to stay connected and involved. Maintain family traditions and involve other trusted adults in your teen’s life. Spend time talking with your teen every day and continue being active in his/her school and activities. Monitor and set limits on your teen’s use of media and talk about unhealthy messages in popular media. If you suspect bullying is a problem, talk to your teen. Be positive and accepting, and acknowledge that the bullying is not his/her fault. Get your teen’s input on how to address the problem and if needed, get help from school officials.

From Cooties to Cute

Teens start to have some romantic interests, interacting mainly over the phone, over the Internet or at school. They may begin pushing parents to allow them to date. Shyness, blushing, modesty and quick embarrassment are normal.

What You Can Do

Parents should establish an age for dating and hold to it, but allow room for negotiation. For example, parents may want to encourage group dating for younger teens or offer to host a BBQ or organize other get-togethers. This gives you the chance to plan something with your teen and meet his/her friends. During these early dating years, parents should also set curfews and encourage teens to check in at various times.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition www.sbcoalition.com is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. To order our booklet: A Parent’s Guide To The Prevention Of Alcohol And Other Drugs, please visit our website or contact: events@sbcoalition.com

There is a new and disturbing trend parents need to know about. Teens are abusing prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs in an effort to get high – the same kind of high obtained from illegal street drugs like marijuana or cocaine.

Teens and substance abuse experts say that there are many different reasons for the rise in prescription drug abuse by young people. As discussed in “The Changing Face of Teenage Drug Abuse: The Trend Toward Prescription Drugs” in 2006 New England Journal of Medicine, there is a misperception that prescription and OTC drugs are medically safer, and therefore the abuse of such drugs in order to get high is not as bad as abusing street drugs.

Teens also point to personal or family-related stress as another major reason why they abuse prescription drugs. Other reasons include:

* Escape and boredom
* Preservation of friendships, romantic relationships, and family life
* Competing for college admission, including competition for Advanced Placement and Honors courses in high school
* The balance between school work, grades, and extracurricular activities like sports and clubs; and,
* The desire to have the “ideal” physical appearance.

Some students try to dial down the pressure by abusing painkillers and sedatives. Teens are also abusing stimulants, such as Ritalin, a drug used for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These teens don’t realize that prescription drugs, if used outside doctor’s orders, can pack a very hard – sometimes lethal – punch. They can be just as addictive as street drugs and abuse can create similar health effects, such as paranoia, seizures, and cardiac arrest. Many people don’t realize the harm associated with prescription drugs until it is too late.

Talk to your teen about the dangers of abusing prescription and OTC drugs, and educate yourself on signs and symptoms of abuse. Follow the tips below to prevent prescription and over-the-counter abuse among teens:

1. Keep Track of Quantities: Take note of how many pills are in a bottle or pill packet and ask other households your teen visits (such as grandparents or friends) to do the same. Don’t forget about refills. If you find you have to refill medication for a chronic condition more often than recommended, there could be a real problem – as someone may be knowingly stealing your medication.

2. Talk to Friends, Relatives and School Administration: Make sure your friends and relatives know about the risks, too, and encourage them to regularly monitor their own medicine cabinets. If you don’t know the parents of your child’s circle of friends, then make an effort to get to know them, and get on the same page about rules and expectations. Follow up with your teen’s school administration to find out what they are doing to address issues of Rx and OTC drug abuse on campus.

3. Follow Directions Carefully: Make sure you and your teen use RX drugs only as prescribed by a medical doctor and take only the recommended dosages as indicated for both Rx and OTC drugs. If you are directed to finish the prescription, then do so as advised. If you have any questions about how to take a prescription drug, call your family physician or pharmacist.

4. Discard Old or Unused Medications: Unused prescription drugs should be disposed of in the trash. It is best to add an undesirable substance (like used coffee grounds or kitty litter) and put the mixture in an impermeable, non-descript container like an empty can or bag. Unless the directions say otherwise, DO NOT flush medications down the drain or toilet because the chemicals can taint the water supply. Also, remove any personal, identifiable information from prescription bottles or pill packages before you throw them away.

5. Be Observant: If you find your teen is quickly going through cough syrup, or you find empty bottles and pill packages among your child’s personal effects, talk with him/her, listen carefully, and determine if there is a problem. If there is a problem, call your family physician immediately.

6. Find Other Ways to Relieve Stress and Have Fun: Many teens point to personal and family stress, as well as boredom, as reasons they abuse Rx and OTC drugs. Help your teen find other ways to relieve pressures, for example through positive activities that interest your child, positive friendships, or by simply listening and offering guidance. Also, help your teen find constructive ways to pass time and set a good example yourself.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. If you would like a copy of the South Bay Coalition’s Parent’s Guide To Preventing Substance Abuse, please visit our website or email: events@sbcoalition.com.

Helping your teen grow into a healthy and responsible adult is a rewarding part of being a parent, but it’s not always an easy job. Kids can be brutal to each other. Helping your child cope and manage feelings he or she encounters during the high school years are difficult and fragile tasks, but they are important. Peer-related stress for your teen can result from being the target of vicious gossip, getting teased or bullied, or knowing that his/her friends are involved in dangerous things like drinking, drugs, and/or other risky behaviors. Stress can also result from not “joining the crowd,” and fear of rejection. Most teens will encounter some of these scenarios, so it’s vital to give your child the tools he/she needs to handle the complex peer environment.

Here are some things you can do to help your teen deal with their life:

Emotionally Connect With Your Child

Give your child extra attention and consideration. Keeping the lines of communication open and encouraging discussion is key. Be there to listen and share your own experiences from high school.

Be Alert to Signs of Stress

These signs may present as anxiety, aggressive behavior, stomachaches/headaches or a desire to stay home from school and other activities.

Consults with Teachers and Staff

If you know your teen is going through a hard time at school or has come into conflict with peers, make sure teachers and other school staff are in the loop.

Feelings don’t need to be “fixed.” Instead, focus on helping your child understand and deal with his/her experiences. If signs of stress don’t seem to be subsiding after a few weeks, consider consulting a mental health professional who has special experience working with youth.

In addition, speak with your teen about not being on the other side of the coin – the person doing the teasing or gossiping. Being popular may be a very important goal for your teen, but gaining popularity should not be at the expense of a peer’s feelings or your child’s personal well-being.

Alcohol is a product that is only legal for those that are 21 years of age, and is a depressant that comes from organic sources including grapes, grains and berries. These products are fermented and distilled into a liquid.

A standard drink is:

• One 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler;

• One 5-ounce glass of wine; or

• 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.

Alcohol affects every part of the body. It is carried through the bloodstream to the brain, stomach, internal organs, liver, kidneys, and muscles – everywhere. It is absorbed very quickly (as short as 5 – 10 minutes) and can stay in the body for several hours. Alcohol affects the central nervous system and brain. It can make users loosen up, relax, and feel more comfortable, or can make them more aggressive.

Unfortunately, it also lowers their inhibitions, which can set them up for embarrassing or dangerous behavior. In fact, each year approximately 5,000 young people under the age of 21 die as a result of underage drinking. This statistic (from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism) includes about 1,900 deaths from motor vehicle accidents; 1,600 homicides; 300 suicides; and hundreds of others stemming from injuries such as falls, burns, and drownings.

Health Hazards

Did you know that alcohol can impair the parts of the brain that control the following:

Motor coordination. This includes the ability to walk, drive, and process information.

Impulse control. Drinking lowers inhibitions and increases the chances that a person will do something that they will regret.

Memory. Impaired recollection and even blackouts can occur when too much alcohol has been consumed.

Judgment and decision making capacity. Drinking may lead young people to engage in risky behaviors that can result in illness, injury, and even death.

It’s no secret that society gives children mixed messages about alcohol. As a parent, you should know that underage drinking can have serious consequences, especially on the still-developing teenage brain.

Risky Behavior

Many kids start drinking in middle school. In fact, one out of every two 8th graders has tried alcohol. Additionally, more kids use alcohol than use tobacco or illicit drugs and more children are killed by alcohol than all illegal drugs combined.

But the risky behavior does not end there.

Dependence. In recent studies, people who reported starting to drink before the age of 15 were four times more likely to also report meeting the criteria for alcohol dependence at some point in their lives. In fact, new research shows that the serious drinking problems (including what is called alcoholism) typically associated with middle age actually begin to appear much earlier, during young adulthood and even adolescence.

Illicit drug use. More than 67 percent of young people who start drinking before the age of 15 will try an illicit drug. Children who drink are over 7 times more likely to use any illicit drug, are over 22 times more likely to use marijuana, and 50 times more likely to use cocaine than children who never drink.

Sexual activity. Alcohol use by teens is a strong predictor of both sexual activity and unprotected sex. A survey of high school students found that 18 percent of females and 39 percent of males say it is acceptable for a boy to force sex if the girl is high or drunk.

Violence. Children who start drinking before age 15 are 12 times more likely to be injured while under the influence of alcohol and 10 times more likely to be in a fight after drinking, compared with those who wait until they are 21 to drink.

School. Student substance use precedes, and is a risk factor for, academic problems, such as lower grades, absenteeism and high dropout rates. Alcohol can interfere with a student’s ability to think, making learning and concentration more difficult and ultimately impeding academic performance. In fact, the more a student uses alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, the lower his/her grade point average is likely to be and the more likely he or she is to drop out of school.

Driving. When young people drink and get into a car, they tend to make poor decisions that impact their safety. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, traffic crashes are the number one killer of teens and over one-third of teen traffic deaths are alcohol-related.

Protecting Children

Parents can take the following steps to encourage their children to abstain from alcohol:

• Spend time together regularly.

• Listen and talk with your children. Try to understand the pressures placed on them and don’t criticize their beliefs.

• Keep track of where your children are, what they are doing, and who their friends are.

• Get them involved in after-school activities so they won’t be able to just “hang out” with friends in the afternoon. This is when children are most likely to experiment.

• Praise or reward children often. If they feel good about themselves, they will be more confident and better able to resist peer pressure.

• Be a positive role model for your children. Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs.

Across the country, parents are being held responsible for youth drinking in very tangible ways. That trend includes the South Bay. Back in February, Manhattan Beach’s City Council unanimously approved the introduction of Ordinance 2096 which creates a Civil Social Host Ordinance which will hold non-commercial individuals responsible for any underage drinking of alcoholic beverages on property they own, lease, or otherwise control. This ordinance increases the level of responsibility for adults to ensure that underage drinking does not occur at their homes, mainly at parties. In the past, when police have discovered underage drinking occurring at people’s homes, the controlling adult would claim ignorance and little could be done about the situation. However, underage drinking is a major problem in the United States and the City of Manhattan Beach is taking proactive steps to protect their youth. Despite minors making up only one-tenth of the State’s population, the Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) states that minors are involved in nearly half of the alcohol related fatal traffic collisions in the state.

So, the next time you are hosting a party for teenagers, take the time to ensure there is no underage drinking occurring on the property you control. The fine for the first offense will be $1000 and will increase with each subsequent violation. Should the police discover that any adult knowingly allowed underage drinking to occur on their property, they could be subject to a criminal offense as well; contributing to the delinquency of a minor, which is a jailable offense.

When you have a suspicion that your teen is “experimenting” with drugs, what do you do?

Get Educated

First, learn as much as you can. Sign up for TheAntiDrug Parenting Tips Newsletter or visit www.Freevibe.com for information and scientific evident on alcohol and other drug use by teens. Or, call the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) for free pamphlets and fact sheets. They can be reached at 1-800-788-2800 or visit their web site at http://www.health.org.

Have The Talk – Let Them Know You Know

The next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when you are all calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t an easy task – your feelings may range from anger to guilt that you “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true – by staying involved you can help him/her stop using and make choices that will make a positive difference in his/her life.

Be Specific About Your Concerns

Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known if you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how his/her behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell him/her that alcohol or other drug use is dangerous and it’s your job to keep him/her away from things that put him/her in danger.

Don’t Make Excuses

Although it’s natural for parents to make excuses for their child, you’re not helping him/her if you make excuses when he/she misses school or family functions when you suspect something else is at play. Take the next step. Talk to your child and get more information.

Try To Remain Calm And Connect With Him/Her

Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Be firm but loving with your tone and try not to get hooked into an argument. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen and find out why he/she may be making bad choices. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or at school. Did he/she try it just out of curiosity, or did he/she use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you care and that you are going to be the parent exercising your rights.

Be Prepared. Practice What You’ll Say

Be prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect him/her to admit he/she has a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, it is best to be honest, and if you can, connect your use to negative consequences. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you’ve lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you can talk about some specific people you know that have had negative things happen to them as a result of alcohol and other drug use. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers like these:

“When I was a kid I took drugs because of my friends did. I did it in order to fit in. If I’d know then about the consequences and how they affect my life, I never would’ve tried drugs. I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from them.”

“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks – the loss of trust of my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”

Act Now

You can begin to more closely monitor your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask: Who? What? Where? When? Reflect with your child on why he/she is using drugs and try to understand the reasons why so that you can help solve the problem. When you get a better idea of the situation, then you can decide next steps. These could include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable – such as a new curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want to get them involved in pro-social activities that will keep them busy and help them meet new people.