1.   Our 16yr old daughter has started dating an 18yr old “boy” who we hear has been known to drink and use drugs. Although our daughter exhibits no symptoms or behaviors suggesting she’s using too, we are anxious and worried about how to handle this situation. What should we do?

You have good reason to be concerned. Teens who socialize with others who drink and use are far more likely to do so themselves, but the danger does not stop there. If this boy is drinking and using, she’s at much greater risk for being involved in an automobile crash, being a victim of dating violence and/or rape, or facing legal consequences secondary to being around illicit substances or intoxicated minors. The first step should be to sit down and have an “adult” conversation with your daughter. Do your best to use only statements that start with ‘I’ and avoid saying ‘you’ – this will prevent you from making any accusations, either intentionally or unintentionally. If your daughter does not feel attacked, judged or criticized, she will be much more likely to listen to what you have to say. Carefully share your concerns about the situation, including the legal ramifications for him, if anything should happen to her.

Use statements such as: ‘I understand that older boys are more attractive because they’re more mature and experienced, however, I also understand that he is in a different place in life, that he is considered an ‘adult’ legally, and will want to seek out adult activities and interests which are not appropriate for someone who is 16”; and other statements like, “ I cannot know for sure, but the word from others is that he is not making very good decisions and chooses inappropriate activities.  It would devastate me to learn that he may try to involve you in these activities.”

Then allow her to talk and carefully listen to see if she seems fully aware of the issues that are involved with dating an older person.  Based on what you daughter tells you, you can decide whether to restrict this relationship.  It’s obvious that any unsupervised time they spend together is potentially dangerous.  While it’s not necessarily true that she is joining in his activities, it is true that he is not to be trusted.

Discussions of the same nature with this young man (and his family) are also in order. If he denies drug use, ask him to take a urine drug screen (most effective if done without prior notice). Although these measures are certainly not the most comfortable to take, you owe it to your daughter to do all in your power to protect her. She is still a child and it’s your responsibility to provide that protection.

2. The other day as I was putting away my 14yo son’s laundry, I discovered plastic baggies in his drawer – one contained several different kinds of pills and the other had what I assume to be marijuana. I haven’t said anything to him yet – I’m terrified of his response. His behavior has been somewhat rebellious lately but nothing I would consider uncharacteristic for a 14 year old boy. I don’t know how to handle this. Help!

98% of the time in this type of situation the young person is definitely involved in using illegal substances and has been for some time but has successfully deceived his parents.  What allows this behavior to not only continue but to also develop, is the fact that most parents have this same reaction – they are terrified and do not know how to proceed without fear of losing their loving relationship with their child.  His response is likely to be extreme, substance abusing or addicted children are volatile far in excess of the already significant amount 14 year olds are. Those who begin using drugs by age fourteen have a strong chance of developing an addiction, far greater than if that use does not start until later years. His current use is doing serious damage to the development of his brain, which is in a critical stage at this period of his life.

We strongly suggest you seek professional help.  Both parents should not waste any time in taking this child to an adolescent drug treatment center, where each person will be interviewed and the teen will be drug tested (so don’t tell your son ahead of time).  He will likely not understand or grasp any of this and be highly resistant, but remember he is a child and he needs you to be a parent, which means often being unpopular with your child. If his reaction is extreme, look at it and ask yourself this: Is this a child in control and healthy, or is this a child in desperate need of help? The center will provide assessment, evaluation and suggestions.  This process is free at many centers in the area and works best because it is far more objective in the evaluation and suggestions.  It will avoid arguments about what is true and not true because chances are great that your child will deny any ‘accusation’ you make.  It is critical to know that the longer parents wait the more difficult it will be to remediate the situation.  It will not be a pleasant experience for you, but it is your duty to deal with this and it will be far less unpleasant than attending his funeral or sentencing. Please confiscate the drugs and call your local treatment center immediately for a referral and/or assessment!

The questions above are from parents who live in the South Bay. The responses have been provided by members of the South Bay Coalition whose expertise and experience lies in parenting, counseling, and/or substance abuse prevention. The South Bay Coalition is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. For local resources or more information, please visit our website www.thefutureiswatching.org or contact: events@sbcoalition.com

The Rosé label features Hello Kitty in a little black dress, winking and holding a glass of wine. The “Devil” and “Angel” wine labels show Hello Kitty with a devil’s tail and angel wings, respectively, and heart-shaped tattoos on each of their behinds. The Brut Rose label displays Hello Kitty in a pink onesie with hearts, and has a special prize hanging on each bottle: a little Hello Kitty pendant on a chain.

Italian winemaker Tenimenti Castelrotto, along with with Camomilla, an Italian fashion company, collaborated to sell the wine with the Hello Kitty brand worldwide. Their rationale for this campaign: “Hello Kitty is not just for children. She is a recognized cult fashion icon among teenagers and adults around the world.”

The Hello Kitty Wine website also lists recipes for mixing the wine with distilled spirits, juice, and/or sugar to make special cocktails. They look like recipes for homemade Hello Kitty alcopops.

The CEO of Innovation Spirits, the company in charge of marketing the wines in the U.S., said that they see the Hello Kitty brand identity as somewhat mature and open to various product interpretations. Their tagline for the wine products is “Our favorite girl has grown up,” to indicate that Hello Kitty, in her 35 years of existence, has crossed over to being a brand for children and adults alike.

The little kitten advertising the alcohol does not look like mature. Her face looks like a young kitten, not a 35-year-old wine drinker. Children will immediately recognize Hello Kitty on the bottles, and want to have one of the pendants. Teenage girls, not legally able to obtain alcohol, are also attracted to the Hello Kitty brand.

Hello Kitty’s portfolio may have expanded from inexpensive coin purses for girls to include luxury fashion bags for women, but alcohol is not like any other product. It is not for children and adults alike, and should not be advertised as such.

Original article from www.MarinInstitute.org.

College prevention programs used to dealing with alcohol and illicit drugs are devoting more attention to drugs like Ritalin and Adderral, but with limited success. Richard Clark, director of medical toxicology at the University of California at San Diego, said that the drugs are being used as mood-lifters and appetite suppressants as well as to improve concentration.

Students say these drugs are easy to obtain on campus for a few dollars and that there is no stigma attached to their use. “I think it’s far more widespread than studies suggest today because the drugs work and because it’s so easy for people to get the drugs in this country,” said Clark.

The drugs are virtually undetectable, unlike alcohol or marijuana, and are obtained from friends, not drug dealers.

“A good chunk of college drug-prevention programs don’t actually do any good,” said James Lange, director of drug and alcohol programs at San Diego State University. Ironically, what has helped reduce misuse of prescription drugs at SDSU has been the economically driven decision to stop the campus health center from diagnosing attention-deficit disorders and prescribing drugs to treat the condition, said Lange; a campaign to address alcohol problems also may have helped because many prescription-drug users also are heavy drinkers.

Original article from www.jointogether.org.

Teens and substance abuse experts say that there are many different reasons for the rise in prescription drug abuse by young people. As discussed in “The Changing Face of Teenage Drug Abuse: The Trend Toward Prescription Drugs” in 2006 New England Journal of Medicine, there is a misperception that prescription and OTC drugs are medically safer, and therefore the abuse of such drugs in order to get high is not as bad as abusing street drugs.

Teens also point to personal or family-related stress as another major reason why they abuse prescription drugs. Other reasons include:

* Escape and boredom
* Preservation of friendships, romantic relationships, and family life
* Competing for college admission, including competition for Advanced Placement and Honors courses in high school
* The balance between school work, grades, and extracurricular activities like sports and clubs; and,
* The desire to have the “ideal” physical appearance.

Some students try to dial down the pressure by abusing painkillers and sedatives. Teens are also abusing stimulants, such as Ritalin, a drug used for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These teens don’t realize that prescription drugs, if used outside doctor’s orders, can pack a very hard – sometimes lethal – punch. They can be just as addictive as street drugs and abuse can create similar health effects, such as paranoia, seizures, and cardiac arrest. Many people don’t realize the harm associated with prescription drugs until it is too late.

Talk to your teen about the dangers of abusing prescription and OTC drugs, and educate yourself on signs and symptoms of abuse. Follow the tips below to prevent prescription and over-the-counter abuse among teens:

1. Keep Track of Quantities: Take note of how many pills are in a bottle or pill packet and ask other households your teen visits (such as grandparents or friends) to do the same. Don’t forget about refills. If you find you have to refill medication for a chronic condition more often than recommended, there could be a real problem – as someone may be knowingly stealing your medication.

2. Talk to Friends, Relatives and School Administration: Make sure your friends and relatives know about the risks, too, and encourage them to regularly monitor their own medicine cabinets. If you don’t know the parents of your child’s circle of friends, then make an effort to get to know them, and get on the same page about rules and expectations. Follow up with your teen’s school administration to find out what they are doing to address issues of Rx and OTC drug abuse on campus.

3. Follow Directions Carefully: Make sure you and your teen use RX drugs only as prescribed by a medical doctor and take only the recommended dosages as indicated for both Rx and OTC drugs. If you are directed to finish the prescription, then do so as advised. If you have any questions about how to take a prescription drug, call your family physician or pharmacist.

4. Discard Old or Unused Medications: Unused prescription drugs should be disposed of in the trash. It is best to add an undesirable substance (like used coffee grounds or kitty litter) and put the mixture in an impermeable, non-descript container like an empty can or bag. Unless the directions say otherwise, DO NOT flush medications down the drain or toilet because the chemicals can taint the water supply. Also, remove any personal, identifiable information from prescription bottles or pill packages before you throw them away.

5. Be Observant: If you find your teen is quickly going through cough syrup, or you find empty bottles and pill packages among your child’s personal effects, talk with him/her, listen carefully, and determine if there is a problem. If there is a problem, call your family physician immediately.

6. Find Other Ways to Relieve Stress and Have Fun: Many teens point to personal and family stress, as well as boredom, as reasons they abuse Rx and OTC drugs. Help your teen find other ways to relieve pressures, for example through positive activities that interest your child, positive friendships, or by simply listening and offering guidance. Also, help your teen find constructive ways to pass time and set a good example yourself.

The above information from TheAntiDrug.com, is brought to you by the South Bay Coalition and the Manhattan Beach Police Department. The South Bay Coalition (www.sbcoalition.com) is a non-profit partnership of agencies working to prevent substance abuse among our community’s youth. If you would like a copy of the South Bay Coalition’s Parent’s Guide To Preventing Substance Abuse, please visit our website or email: events@sbcoalition.com.